Last we spoke I was 2 days into the grieving process after my Moma went to be with the Lord. Today I am now 2 weeks in. So I thought I would give you an update. The best I could describe my heart at the time was with the phrase “deep sadness.” Today it seems like such a distant memory. Something happened to me that day. I grieved yes, I bled my heart through the keys of my mac. Yes I grieved and yes my heart was healed through that. The best description of my feelings today would be, “supernaturally peaceful.”
I’m now days from my most recent tears, I can talk about her, laugh about her and remember her with nothing but wonderful feelings. (as I typed that I’ll admit a moistening of my eyes.) But no tears. I am convinced the prayers of my family and friends supernaturally carried me. I’ve had great dread for the day, the call, just the news that my Moma was no longer with us, for years. Two weeks ago today that call came and you know what? I survived it. Not only did I survive it, I embraced it and can even now celebrate it.
There are both natural and unnatural fears. There are but two natural born, instinctive fears and those are loud noises and falling. Every other fear we learn as we live, grow and experience things. Death, in my opinion, has to fall somewhere in the middle of those two. Maybe we feel death is like falling into a loud unavoidable reality. I’ve always known fear to be something that describes that which is unknown. Knowing this, when my Moma took her last breath on this Earth, I didn’t question what had happened. There was no fear to be found. I knew her body had worn out but her spirit, the real her, was in the presence of the Lord. There was no, “unknown” factor for me. I knew she loved me, yes all of us, that too was no “unknown.” I knew my Moma gave her life to make others lives better… yet again, there was no “unknown.” The only unknown at this time is this, when will I too take a similar path. We all will you know?
It is difficult for some to understand how I “know” there is a God, how can I be sure, it’s the particular “god” I serve that is “The God.” How can I trust a book written so long ago by mere mortal men to base my life and my believes upon. Well, to be honest, much of it is TRUST and FAITH, but you’d be sadly mistaken if you think that is all I base it on. Sure I have a book, The Bible, that I believe without apology is the Word of God. But my faith is much deeper than a book printed with ink on tablets of paper. I have met the author of this book. He is living, He hears me and when He speaks I hear Him. It has been said that, “The Bible is the only book in the world where the author is present every time it is read.”
My life is proof positive that myself nor you are accidental. You can argue my doctrine, my theology and my beliefs but you can not argue with my story. I may not be able to convince you or explain to you the mysteries of the universe but I can tell you every miracle in front of your eyes, at this very moment, is a direct response to order, yes, a plan. You are not accidental, you were created by a creator with a purpose.
How can I trust a book printed with ink on tablets of paper speaks the truth about a man named Jesus? Well guys thats easy… I’ve never seen Jesus but I’ve read about him and his great exploits. I’ve also never seen Abraham Lincoln but I’ve read about him and his great exploits. I have never once had a moment of ‘disbelief’ in the existence of our 16 President. These are both matters of history. There is no two paths of history, we have but one history and both Jesus and Abraham Lincoln existed in it. The real question is this, “how do I know Jesus is who he claimed to be?”
C.S Lewis wrote:
“I am trying here to prevent anyone saying the really foolish thing that people often say about Him: “I’m ready to accept Jesus as a great moral teacher, but I don’t accept His claim to be God.” That is the one thing we must not say. A man who said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic — on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg — or else he would be the Devil of Hell. You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse. You can shut Him up for a fool, you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon; or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God. But let us not come with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great human teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”
I will go to my grave one day, in body only, believing with my whole heart that I will be reunited with my family who have chosen to follow Christ. I will proclaim that Jesus is Lord and Savior to all who will call on His name. I must to remain earnest in my faith say too that, there will be many who will not call on his name and spend eternity in Hell. My spirit has been healed in the physical death of my Moma, due to an indescribable force, a power, a healer, my God. No amount of reading a book could have done this, no number of explanations could have done this. You see when things happen we all look for explanations. Well scientifically any number of people can explain the death of my Moma and not a single one of those explanations would give me peace. No, peace comes from God, not explanations, and I have that peace.
The question must be asked… “what if I’m wrong?” well, I’ve lived a great life, loving and being loved in return. The better question that should be asked is this, “what if I’m right.”
Matthew 7: 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’ 24 “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: 25 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock. 26 “But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: 27 and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall.” 28 And so it was, when Jesus had ended these sayings, that the people were astonished at His teaching, 29 for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.